Perspective

What a Day! 

The day started out OK- I took Lettie to early band rehearsal, leaving at 7am. I got back, Ji-Won (our Yehudi Menuhin contestant we’re hosting) had breakfast, and then I took her to UT to get registered for the competition. As we were driving in, I noticed that every time I applied the brakes, it sounded first like a little grinding, then like a jet landing on the back right side of my minivan. I thought “this isn’t normal.” (Shrewd mechanical mind that I have and all.)

After dropping of Ji-Won, I went to Weight Watchers- only to find I’d gained .4 lbs. Not a happy girl, but resolved to do my walking, which I’d not done this past week. As I was leaving to come home to work on the wedding I’ve got tomorrow, I was even more uneasy about the jet landing in my van, so decided to take it to Just Brakes, where I’d had brake work done (in 2011, as it turns out.) Sure enough, I needed a brake job. The back right was rubbing metal on metal, which I’m told is not a good thing. Being basically broke, I wasn’t happy about it, but given that it is still much less than a monthly car payment, and it had been a bit over 56,000 miles since the last brake job, I told him to go ahead. Then he told me it would be at least 3:30 before he finished, which was a problem, because not only did it mean I wouldn’t get home for the 3 hours of work on tomorrow’s wedding I’d planned, but it also wouldn’t be done in time for me to get to UT for the Yehudi Menuhin open events today that started at noon. Paul at Just Brakes said he could get me a ride to UT if I could get back afterwards, but that it might take about an hour to get the ride- and I needed to be at UT in less than an hour. 

There was a nice young man and woman who were in the waiting room with me. From hearing them talk, I knew they were musicians, so I figured “what the heck, ask them for a ride.” Turns out, they were going not far from UT and they’d give me a ride. They were part of a band from the NE that is touring. They played a top club here last night and were headed out for Dallas to play tonight, but they’ll be back for SX-not sure if as a band or as fans of music, but I hope to run into them again. Good Samaritans for sure! We got to talking about music, and I told them about the concert series I coordinate at CPC. They asked if we had mass during the week, so I told them we’re Presbyterians, but that St. Mary’s is just a block further north. The girl (I’m lousy at names) grew up in church, and said she missed singing hymns; so naturally, I invited them to come to CPC during SXSW, so maybe I will see them again!

So, I get them to let me out at 15^th & Red River-(they needed to go to a club on RR, and since they’re not familiar w/ Austin, I figured that would be easy for them to get from there.) I walked over to the Music Building. As I was walking, I received a phone call from the school nurse at Lettie’s school. Lettie had gone in around 11 with a bad headache. The nurse gave her the headache meds I’d left for Lettie, but they didn’t work. About 45 minutes later, she was back in, complaining about her head and said she felt like she was going to h- and she did. So, the nurse was asking me to come pick her up.

I had to explain to her that my husband is in California (and his car at the airport), my car was at Just Brakes with all 4 wheels off and wouldn’t be ready until at least 3:30, and I was at UT with no way there. She asked about Lettie’s uncle- but he’s in CA with Mark, and then asked about her aunt, but she’s working full time. She asked if I didn’t have someone I could ask to go get Lettie and I didn’t. The 1 person I would have asked is in PA, attending her father’s funeral. My other friends around here all have kids, and I wouldn’t ask them to pick up my sick kid who could possibly be contagious. The nurse said “she can’t stay here” and I told her “well, I can’t fly, so until I can get a vehicle, she’ll have to stay there.” I went on over to the music building, had lunch, told the person in charge that I was not going to be able to stay for all the opening festivities, gave them back our tickets for tonight’s opening concert, which features Anton Nel, who I’ve never gotten to hear live and in person, and left, walking towards downtown.

I decided to rent the smallest car I could so that I could pick up Lettie, then go back into Austin, return the rental and get my van. I thought it was the perfect plan- apparently it wasn’t.

About this time, I was walking past the UT School of Social Work, where 2 of my friends are professors. I’d called one earlier to see if she could give me a ride, but she was in a meeting w/ the dean. My phone was going dead, and I was still trying to get a car rental, so I went into the School of Social Work to see if I use their phone to make a couple of calls. (Barbara and Barbara, if they ask you about your crazy friend, you’ll know who it was.) 

 Although Enterprise Rentals SAID they had a car for me (and it was just going to be $26) when I called for them to come pick me up, the local office said they couldn’t get me a car til at least 4- by which time I knew my van would be fixed. I called 3 different offices of Enterprise, same story all around. I wonder what would have happened had I shown up at their office and said “here’s my confirmation number, where’s my car?” Believe me, after this weekend is over, I will be writing to Enterprise corporate office!

After calling all these rental places, I had to call the school, which of course, is a long-distance call. I had to go into another office (thank you Suzanne) to get to make a long-distance call a-l-l the way to Dripping Springs. I told the lady in that office – the aforementioned Suzanne- that I’d give her $5 if I could make this call. After being on the phone and hearing that Lettie was sleeping and the nurse had calmed down, I hung up, thanked Suzanne and walked out. (Note to self- take envelope with $5 to give to Barbara A. at church on Sunday for the School of Social Work.)

As I was walking out of the School of Social Work, my “in the red/dead zone” phone rang. It was Paul at Just Brakes- and it was only 1:30. He’d put my car in first and I guess put a couple of people on it, because he said it would be finished in a few minutes. I needed to get to South Lamar fast, so called a taxi, walked to the corner of MLK & Trinity, as I told them, and waited, and waited. After about 10 minutes, I realized that the AT&T Hotel was just up the hill a few blocks and would likely have taxis waiting there, so I hiked up there. Sure enough, taxis! I’d never been so happy to see a taxi in my life!

I got in, and away we sprinted- til we got on Lamar, which was taking about 100 changes of lights to get through a block- well, maybe “only” 6-8, but it was way more than I had patience for. As we sat still in traffic, I watched the taxi meter climb, so I asked him to turn at the next corner (6^th St.) and go to MoPac and then come into Lamar from the South, which he did. At $30 taxi ride later, we were at Just Brakes, my chariot awaited me, credit card was whipped out to pay, and I was off and after my baby girl.

She’s now home, resting, our student is staying at UT til 6 tonight, and now that I’ve had the catharsis of writing this, I’m headed out to the studio to work on the wedding for an hour or so, go get Ji-Won, have dinner, and then back into the studio to finish the wedding.

As all this was going on, I kept thinking “this is horrible”, “this is hellish” and on and on. Then, as I was seeing some light at the end of the tunnel and walking up MLK towards the AT&T Hotel and those blessed taxis, I thought about the people in Syria and in Kiev, and realized how lucky I was that my big problem was that my car needed new brakes and my daughter was sleeping peacefully in the safe, warm nurses office at our school. In all of this,  I’d gotten in the aforementioned needed walking, so some good came out of it! And I realized that it is rare that I would need to handle all this by myself, usually Mark is here to share the load, and I’m fortunate to have such a good spouse. It’s all about perspective, isn’t it?

About those resolutions

Did you make resolutions again this year? I usually write mine down, but haven't done that til today. It is time to write it down, so here it is.
1. Eat more heathily
2. Be more patient, especially with our daughter
3. Be neater (this is my Waterloo)
4. Work harder at my business
5. Figure out what my business really is.
6. Get my nonprofit "Para las Niñas" officially started
7. Stay on Weight Watchers and lose this last 23 lbs to a nice, healthy weight and then maintain it
8. Make exercise a priority

I'm guessing a lot of your lists have many of the same types of wishes. We all want to "eat healthy", but how do you do that when you're running? One way is to quit running around so much. Your children really don't need to be in every single group/sport/etc. they wish. There is a lot to be said for being at home and even for "being bored." I'm looking forward to checking out Trader Joe's, to see if their organic foods are more affordable. I plan on shopping a little more at local Farmer's Markets, too. Where and what I buy, whether food, clothing or whatever, is a moral choice. I do sometimes buy from places that make my skin crawl, and I hope to cut that out this year, or at least drastically curtail it.. My money needs to be where my mouth is.

Patience: When I was younger, I had a horrible temper. It calmed down tremendously as I matured, but I am sad to say that with our daughter's growth into a "tween", my bad temper is making regular appearances, and I hate it. How is that that a daughter can arouse such anger?

Being neater is difficult for me. I have to be so organized in my business life that at home, I tend to be totally  messy-but I usually know where everything is in that mess. It is relaxing to me not to have to maintain such high standards of organization, but I know it drives my husband nuts, and it isn't a good example to our daughter, so I am trying!

My business- I love my floral design business, and a definition of fun would be to make floral designs for people's special events all day long. Unfortunately, everyone and her dog has decided they can make floral designs, and they're basically right. It doesn't take a lot to make a decent looking design. What does take experience and skill is making those designs, getting them packed up and delivered in shape, making sure all details are just as they need to be, and being able to think on your feet to fix any problems that come up, which can be as minor as sewing a button back on a tux jacket  to having to create 3 extra centerpieces and 2 boutonnieres that the bride forgot to order when the wedding size when up! These "drop and go" florists aren't around to do that- they drop off what you ordered, and if you need more, tough luck! YOU should have thought ahead.

What IS my business- or rather, what WILL it be in 2014? I do special event design, special event planning. I do some sales for my husband's business, and I want to start this nonprofit to raise funds for educating Guatemalan girls. I love to cook, and I enjoy writing. I want to write historical novels, incorporating my family history into them. Jill of all trades, mistress of none is how I sometimes feel. I will be working on prioritizing my life better. If I'm going to write, then I need to start. I'm very aware that my mother was only 10 years older than me when she died. I don't plan on getting brain cancer, but who knows what awaits any of us? I'm looking at a couple of quotes I've got posted on the wall from Steve Jobs "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life" and "...most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow alread know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." I'm also aware it is easy for someone who was so successful to say such things. Certainly, he was goal driven, and refused to settle for less, but there are thousands who were just as goal driven who weren't successes, too. I've been fortuanate that I've been able to stay home and do my work mostly from here. My husband and I made the decision that I could do that so that I could raise our daughter, and her not have to the the "latchkey" child that of my earlier life, but it is time that I start contributing a bit more to our income. Because of the decisions we've made, we've done without a lot of stuff, but that is OK in my book. I don't need a new car every 4 years, or the latest gaget, or even all new clothing every year. I would, however, like for us to be able to do some traveling with our daughter before we're too old to take her (or she's too old to want to go with us.) Mark and I both have fond memories of traveling with our parents, and Lettie doesn't have much of that. We took our first family vacation in years this past summer- driving in New Mexico and West Texas. Lettie told us she loved it because we were all together for those days. THAT is what we want her to remember, not that she got the newest piece of electronic junk that made her happy until the next new version came out.

Para las Niñas is where my heart really is. If I didn't need to work to bring in income, I'd spend all my "work" time raising funds to educate girls in Guatemala. (I do plan to donate 5% of my profit from my floral business to Para las Ninas.) In Guatemala, girls rarely go to school beyond the 3rd grade, if at all. They're taken out of school to stay home and watch the younger children, or to go to work. Education is seen as something that isn't affordable, and certainly shouldn't be "wasted on girls." Many girls there are having children by the them they're 12-15 and even younger. Having an education tends to delay their child-bearing years til later and gives them a better chance at making a better living. It breaks my heart to see little girls on the streets there selling "tipico"- adorable young girls, who should be playing and learning, not selling. In schools, they get breakfast and lunch- which is more food that most get in real life. The NGO's that I will send the funds through also provide clothing, shoes, and books, as well as food and education. You can't "teach someone to fish" if they're starving. Guatemala is so close to us, they truly are our close neighbor, and the lack of education is fueling the horrific gangs and drugs. This is a way to combat that without armies and guns. I've even got the paperwork for a Texas nonprofit all done, just need to print it out, write out the check and send it in. I want its starting date to be April 11- the anniversary of when we brought our daughter home from Guatemala.

Staying on Weight Watchers: Right now I'm wearing a pair of jeans I couldn't even get on 5 months ago, thanks to Weight Watchers. I've got 23 more lbs. to go to get to the healthy weight I want. I'll never be considered "skinny", nor do I want to be skinny. I want to be healthy. My knees and hips where hurting me before, and my blood sugar was getting me closer than I wanted to diabetes and that is a road I do NOT want to travel. I love the WW recipes- my daughter is always stunned to hear me say (AFTER the meal) "that was a Weight Watcher's recipe." My husband loves it- he needed to lose weight, too, and he's lost weight, too.

Exercise: I can always find time to do other things, and often exercise goes by the wayside. THIS year, I will get on the treadmill or, (after "cedar pollen" season) outside walking at least 3 times a week for 30 minutes each day. It makes a difference in how I feel. I have more energy when I do that, and it is a good model for our daughter, as well as important for me.

Whew, I look over all these, and it seems like a mighty ambitious list. I need to remember, "you can't eat an elephant all at once." I don't need to accomplish all these things today, but I do need to start nibbling at them, so that I can start on that pathway. Wish me luck & I hope all your resolutions come to bloom also!